the worst part is, EVERYONE is noticing im crying :( . heck ! shame on me. i was actually talking to my supervisor at that time, but couldnt hold any longer when abg boy text me, "sabaq la.." .. darn ! i am being emotional. daym it !
after returning back to the meeting, everyone act like nothing happened, and just do normal. after the meeting, my SV asked me to complete the list first before we can make any disposition on what to do with the remaining drive given. I said, ok.
So. taking my own sweet-sour times at office and at MY PLACE (usually i will straight go to the debug) - but this time, i need to do office work, not debug work. at 12, i received text from my bos, "Aerna, please meet me at the lab nw". Fully understood what he want to talk about.. it takes me awhile before decided to go and meet him. I was actually want to say NO and giving excuses wanna go for lunch wf fwen at 12 as promises (well, i really do promise my fwen) but.. i giving it a second thought, perhaps i can voice out to him whatever is im keeping. but, not all , indeed.
and there u go. when he asked me with a smile, " what happen to you? anything wrong?" and, darn again, i cried again bfore i can face him.
"Aerna, dont be too emotional.. okay3.. calm yourself" but i guess he is too busy to take care of my problem, so i decide to be professional.. we have a lil discussion - and to be honest, i dont even know why am crying. I tell him, it's just all bcoz of me - im too upset/dissapointed in myself & when i unable to do things on time.
bloggers fwen, that's why this blog is called "bila si PERFECTIONIST berkata-kata".. when perfectionism become your priority, you'll ended up stress n pressure. and he said, he totally understand because he is just like me - perfectionist.
he giving me an advice, and he said, i can always come and take to anybody - all i need is to spare some times to talk rather that keep inside myself alone. and, i am not the only person who cried when we first enter the plant, there's more - and that people who cried earlier, now becoming the strongest person in the plant. he said, when he first interview me, he said out of all candidate that he interviewed, i am the only one with a high prospect & made it to the plant. (i guess i shud be grateful & bear in my mind to improve more).
I told him to not misunderstood me.. im crying nothing about personal - but all related to work.cyring is my only way to express my disspoinment & frustration - and he said, its okay to cried, but rather than crying, why not channeling the energy there to look for more improvement - i've been there, in the future i should be able to improve what's lacking. i guess, he totally correct.
I am totally understood what he was trying to say. indeed. crying will make you stronger - in a good way. and today, another Section Manager , Abg Ali, told me the same thing. it happened - everyone will cried when they first enter work at factory - so, dont worry about it.
shame on me. im still failed to control my EQ. they no need IQ, but EQ. cmon far.. lets do it.
and i ended up going back at 5 o clock in the morning that day, and working 2nd half on the nxt day - and everyone keep asking "Aerna, are you ok? busy?" - "oh aerna.. its ok, you can pass it to me after you are ok..".. "Aerna, come i help you",,
man ! >_< even my sv was saying, "Aerna , we will have conf. call tonite, so please take your dinner since we will be staying late tonight.."
okay. okay. Barathan teased me "Crying Baby" .. well, whatever ! now thinking of what had happened, i am wayy to shame & wanna forget everyth. crossing my every finger !
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