Thanks Miss! =')

for the past few days (or past few weeks?) i have been distracted by problems, in & out, and i was like silly (hopeless) person ever.

I dont talk over financial problem to my mama when i ever since started earning my own ody.
I dont talk over office problem to my bestfriends anymore after they left me to KL & Labuan.
I dont talk over relationship matter to my sisters since i never do.
I dont talk over my future plans to my colleague since it has nothing to do with them.
and I dont talk about myself pretty much to my kidz.

Simply, I just dont talk. And that's the problem. When am need someone to talk to, I have no one(to refer to). . and there i am, complaining, jotting & bubbling down here in my page , and burst my temper in fb - and till someone out thr willing to share wf me. TQ. . =)

and without am realizing, there's another person out there, who u tink wont care & never updates wf ur life, suddenly, voicing out a very touching advice, and . . sorry. sy cengeng & sensitif.


wishing birthday to the person i love / i care / i like is another habit of mine. and she, is one of them. =) she's d person i adore & my greatest inspirations for my future plans. .
just simply with the thank-you-for-the-wishes , added wif simple line that really2 touched me inside out, i am really thankful to her.

for her being away in Japan, and for her being like she-wont-have-time to check updates on her x-student, and yet, she seems to see what's happening to me (not totally get the whole story, but yet, i tink she understands sth is wrong wf me life), and with this line. . .

"keep smiling inside and out, don't get stressed on things we have no control over."

I would like to thanks her, a LOT!

im very sensitive over such things. sorry i just realized this bad habit of mine.


Thank You Miss Suhaila Badarol Hisham! May ALLAH bless ya alwiz & good luck with your pHD! AMIN. .

it keeps me thinking of myself : how could i majoring in control system if i cant control myself & realized that there is a thing whereby we have no control to it?
I am not a good student (application) of control, sorry ms . . T_T I shud buried it deep down inside me tho. Having better grade wont help me in life : I know now, I shud learn to apply, to learn only to get an A.

Otak Letrik dah nk Karat daa..

Otak letrik da nak berkarat. . .
skunk otak grafik & video editing yg aktif!
juga otak xtvt2 kolej. .
haish. xd mud lgsung nk ngajarrr..
ya Rabbi, kuatkan lah diri ku. . ~_~

xtvt2 mcm kt dlm pix bawah nie, mmg aktif otak aku plan macam2. . . tah nape sonok sgt buat bende2 cenggini. . ayo yo. patut amek event management courses jek. xyah amek letrik. . ngaaa

1st gathering Sabahan - UTPianz.
- tym nie during convocation abg2 senior , abg Rosli , daeng Ewan & abg Shahrandin. kecuali daeng, dua org abg senior tue lg baru 1st tym jupe . . sorg lg kakak senior, kak leen xdpt d kesan mlm tue. . huhuh

2nd Gathering Sabahan - UTPianz
- yg nie x hengat ble. . tp d atas permintaan ramay, d tunaikan jg tuk buat gathering lagi sekaly. . tym nie x rmai yg join, especially junior2. . bz kononnya. . tp specialnya, tym nie hawa, sis nallai & abg muiz ada skali! hee aherm! yg laen2 tue, ahli tetap gathering! keke

3rd gathering Sabahan - UTPianz
- x silap aku, yg nie before ktorg g intern 8 bulan. dalam ujg taun 2007 kot. . rekod paling ramay tetamu la stakat neh. . berkat bantuan rakan2, ahernya menjadi jugak gathering neh. . heee junior2 baru masok pn ada join gax, so, gud for em!

venue tuk ketiga2 gathering nie semenya kat cafe V3. Senang. aha! n salunye wat time malam. keke. spare sket masa kuar mlm dr hostel. lgpn seme2 ponk dok hostel. x luak pn jln sket. huu.

sumber2 tetamu gath ? : #sabah @ mirc , dan jg contact2 phone no. hee

tujuan gathering beseeenye adalah tuk berkenal2an dgn senior2, junior2 n rakan2 Sabahan yg dok study kt UTP. ehehe. sonokk taw, sb ble dpt kenal2, nt nk beli bku kew, nk jual buku teks ke, nk nota kew, or apa2 laa, ley contact each other. tlg menolong laaa katakaan =))

kan da kate. . otak letrik da nak berkarat neh. . hish!

time final year xdek dah wat gathering. . agak bizi laaa cik kak, cik bang. so junior2 yg baru masok tym ktorunk da balek dr intern, mmg x d kenali lgsung. huhuh.. naseb laa labu.

argh! apsal cte pasal UTP jew baru2 neh. . gilew rindu x bertempat. sot! ngaaa. tp xpe2. . mmg trasa nk imbas kembali zaman2 dlu2. huuuuu

apa2 laa. chow!

Hey! That's Faking!

when i visiting other fwen's blog, i cant deny they had a very nice & interesting story to write about. . the words, the emotions, the story it's just nice. . when i tink to myself, why i cant do like they do??

my blog is too emotional (for me lorr). . sometimes i tink if im the reader, i might ended up not to read tis page, since there's more to hatred & anger surrounding tis page. .

and sometimes, i feel like i wanna write ony gud2 tings. . with happy tings + positive tings & words ony . .

but . . HEY! that's FAKING!

I dont write blog for ONLY them to read. . I mainly wrote on what happening on me and around me. . So either they like it or not, I hv no intention to make any correction. . bcause, im just being me. And I know, my life's not as interesting as others. So, if u dont like it, just leave okie? =)

I love blogging. noobs & rebel is my life's story page. . . and u may asked why cant i do it offline if not for them to read?? bcoz i like to share my story. . not 100%, but half of it. . Sometimes, what i wrote is not meant to be talk over about orally.

The happy, sad, anger, funny & facts of life. . that's mainly emotion that i would like to share in my page. . People hv 2 different personality, and so do I. When I show emotionless outside, actually I am very touched inside. It just, sometimes u cant show ur emotion well. I tell u, I am a denial person. =)

and for those who still keep on reading & sharing, I would like to thank you ! =)

p/s it's nice feeling when to know someone's out there listen to ur prob virtually (mcm stalkers laa kirenyaa kn fiexa??! hee)

sy takut derma darah, tp sb kuatkan hati dan dgn dorongan rakan2, sy berjaya menderma darah O saya pada final year sy d UTP! Penakut2 tp berani! =)

the poses that keep me smiling . .

Exploring all the old album when i was in my university, this few pics really lighten up myself that night. .

take 1

take 2

take 3

take 4

take 5

I smile when i look at this pix, i cant stop smiling.
the memory are just. . . awesome =)
look at the pose, different time, different function. .
but the pose are the same =)
how i missed the old days. .
and the guy at the pix, is actually my best boyfriend (BBF) back in utp, but he's sowt2 a bit, but he'll listen well to my prob.

and this pix, remind me how struggle i am to study electrical machine, understanding the terms - transformer, the circuit & the formula. I thought i'll never got away from tis subject, but at last, i pass! =)

GOD, please no more things like this. .

ignore the previous emotional entry. I was unstable at that particular time. Luckily it was semester hols now, if not, my temper will burst onto my students. Sheesh!..

I don’t know what to do . I am at my dead end.

I am blur. For whatever –ve stuff ive been tinking on doin, it’s all satan’s doing. Naudzubillahminzalik.

Thank GOD I’ve been given a good friends. They might not be my best friend, but they are there to listen. :’((

I’ve only learned that, a bestfriend is not the only person u can rely on when u’ve problem, a bestfriend wouldn’t even b able to b by urside everytime to lend their shoulders for u to cry, bestfriend can only say things they think would comfort us without understanding the whole things except one – you need to b comfort.

And during my lowest & depressed moment currently, I’ve managed to talk to my colleague cum high school friends – she was totally +ve person, and I’ve admire her for being herself, optimist, cool & strong. I’ve no doubt if student would like her for what she is. She is considerable & comfortable to be with. I thank GOD for having her, and for that, I am getting better a bit, and I’ve learned that, hypocrite & controlling emotion when confront problems are two different things. . I just learned that. Stupid me. I know.

Then, that’s just that. I thought things would get better, but I don’t believe now stuff would go well for me. GOD really tests me for what I am. And I almost crack down by HIM. I try to recall my friends advice, to control emotion, . . and I’ve tried, but I am not really good at controlling expression. I smile when people talk to me, but I can feel the smile dint cover my mixed feelings at the moment. The whole day, I feel really depressed, and cant do anything right. I keep thinking how can I disappear from home for even a day?? Silly me.

I asked kakak to pick me up if she going out to KK later after she got home.coz I said I don’t wanna go home early. But she said, ok lah, we go back lambat lah. Luckily she agreed.

I msg my bestfwens who in KL. I would like to apologized for my wrongdoing. Just in case, if things happen. Then when she reply, I crack into tears. Kakak noticed, I am in the middle of problem. On our way back, she keeps asking why, and what’s wrong. I said , nothing. Well, it surely nothing, I mean, I am not ready, I am not sure to tell her what’s wrong. And, before we reached home, she asked again, and I broke into tears. And she said, go ahead, cried. If u wanna cry, cry. Don’t hold it, bcoz u need to let it out. She actually wanna finished up her assignment, but then, when she sees me acting that way, she getting worried. And she bring me to taman at our neighbourhood & ask me to tell her everything. And there I am..

I am feeling much better after that. And the end of the misery will be cure by extrasleeping.

Alhamdulillah, I am getting much better now. For two days of sudden problem, I would like to thank for two people who comes to my rescue. I hope I’ll be strong after this. And GOD, please no more things like this. I pray to you. Please. Give me strength.

=’’((

i just wanna smile. like tis alwiz . . ='(

Bengang

Currently :
-ve perspective
To those yg sensitif, GTH! To those yg xleh nk bawak bergurau, GTH! To those yg busok ati, GTH! To those yg busybody, GTH!

+ve
To them yg tegur tuk correction, TQ! To them yg faham niat sy, TQ!

begini la kehidupan. i dint mean anything bad, . . tegur sket setakat berbasa basi jew kot. . itu pn nk terasa melampau. klu popuan xpe la, nie jantan pn buley jd begitu sensitif. sorry. terlupa satu, EXTRASUPERDUPER sensitif.

"eh, lmbt smpy?" <<-- soalan mcm nie pn nk sensitif ke?

kang x tego , d katanya sombong. kang buat bodo, di katanya noob yg x hormat senior. kang menyepi, di katanya bakal pemangku(perli okie?) yg sdh berubah. niat nk berbasa basi pn d persalahkan. itu pn nak marah. siap perli n ngumpat lg kt org sebelah (yelah mentang2 ak x dgr...sb ak bkn perli, saja berbasa basi, ala2 hye hye bye bye) , "c A (aku la tue) da jadi boss skg.." ..

mmg ak x dgr. ak x taw pn hny dgn 3 patah perkataan tue pn dia nk terasa. nie pn sb org sebelah dia tue yg gtaw.niat org tue , dia xnk ktorunk nt gado2. dia tegur sb xnk ak buat kesilapan yg sama. i appreciate her intention & her help. really appreciate it. tp, mud trus berubah. . bkn nk salah kan dia.. tp... uh! sorry, not very gud dlm hiding expression. i might say ok, im fine now , but my face expression failed to convinced that im ok! uh. i hate being hypocrite! hypocrite? uh. i story more later. quiet depressed rite now, d trouble from yesterday stil hasnt over. sheesh! ='((((

Fiexa, aku da jawab!

nie amek kesempatan nk post sebelum hari yg bizi hari nie! huuu xd idea nk cite bebanyak pagi2 nie. okie jom!

1. gambar kesukaan anda?


2. adakah anda rasa anda HOT?
HOT temper. mmg. ssh nk control~

3. cerita pasal gambar
ouh! nie tym camping kt Tenom, on my precious turning 24th (July 31st!) & yes, my 1st ever celebrating during outing =D thx to all my 12/30 mentees for making tis camping short, but nice! =) which maybe few, will not b longer wif me . ='(
noted : Kifli & Razak are not in d pix.

4. bila kali terakhir makan pizza
huuu. x hengat. tp last tym after majlis nikah sedara kt papar, singgah kt pizza putatan. ada la 2,3 bulan yg lepas kot.

5. lagu terakhir anda dengar
Kat Hot.FM, lagu pesawat Mesti Mau~

6. apa yang anda buat selain menyelesaikan tag ini
FB-ing, U-Tubing on Playful Kiss~!

7. selain nama sendiri anda dipanggil nama apa?
~ far
~ fachen
~ deng
~ dan juga.. far jg.. huu

8. tag lagi 8 orang
alamak. ade ke smpy 8? sat kire...
~ qaslun
~ asrih
~ dayang
~ vany
~ nil

9. siapakah orang no. 1 kepada anda
mentee sy =)

10. kata sesuatu mengenai org no. 2
asrih, ble blk msia? =)

11. no. 3 ada hubungan dengan siapa?
currently,single lg =)

12. bagaimana pula dgn no. 4
vany, my dear oldtime bestfwen =)

13. pesanan kpd org no. 5
nil kan? huuu

14. berikan 5 yg anda tahu tentang org yang men-tag anda
~ osmet waktu sem 1 final yr kt utp =D
~ ske barang2 emo. black & white!
~ cite blog dia menarik!
~ seorg yg flexible! aha =D
~ sorg engineer yg bejaye kat sony! hee =D

15. persamaan antara kambing dengan lembu
~ dua2 binatang la wak. huu

da, setel fiexa! heee

Qas 18!

wishing earlier in the facebook! =)

Happy 18th Birthday to my kid, Qaslun Basheer B Hadi ~!

May ALLAH bless ya alwiz & keep on smiling!

Here some tips for ya on ur 18th :

~ looking for human-love is okay, but when u'r in ur lowest moment, do remember HIS love is eternal =)

~ b the best human being, especially to ur parents, there are nothing more precious & worth gazillion $$ than EDUCATION.

~ life arent fair, but let's make it fair , at least for us =)

~ no pain, no gain. try to confront it, not to leave it unanswered =)

~ tis is the last but never the least one, listen to me & ur parents well, and for god-willing, I'l help u and our doa alwiz wf ya=)

Have a blast dear Qas =)

p/s especially dedicated to u! so, erm, aha! blanja ms kenny ya! =D

Oh! Thank You

Last tym i did mention bout my camping to Larry & Vince's right? I was personally like that place, it was awesome! and eventho ony 7 of my mentee's + 3 of yus'z join in d camp, the place still rock~! =) ekceli, wanna runaway from worklife.

at first, someone's did ask me, out of 30's, ony 7 join d camping? and i was lyk, erm, grr! 30's is jst a number, as if i would b their mentor for a long period? ugh. igt senang ke nk kumpul all at once tuk xtvt? rekod paling bejaya pn, 28/30 join xtvt @ 1b. ugh. whatever.

niway, plan to go off around 9 am and arrived around 930, but due to some technical problem (from transportation contact), 0930 then we ride on the bus. then arrive somewhat around 10++ due to the traffic. herm.

i told ya, that place was nice for someone like ME! i mean, for those who really needs a vacation, needs to take a break from hell-lyf, and needs to b in someplace peace, and this is the right place to be! im glad i came to tis place. huu

okie. stop with the talking. let's get break event wf some pix! ehe

all queue up to book a place to sleep tonite!

+

and yes, we'r all experiencing sleep @ the tree house! huuu

warning : gurls, tis is so 18SG okie? ahax =p

@ 1130am : mandi-manda. i bet the kidz really lyk tis kind of xtvt! huu. seriously, they look cute only whenever they listen to me well. mcm kanak2 ribena~! aha =)

lunch time! yahu~lupe nk mention, my lil bro ekot skali, jd peneman setia. huu

vs

fishing tym! 2 team meets each other's eyes! aha
other team wants sumandak to b in their grup. haiya. i shud bring lotsa mandak to tis xtvt. kids nowadays r... aiyo.

1st try! aha =)

charles d person-in-charge for d xtvt shows em the right way to undo d fish .

these two are not keen & kind of afraid & dunno how to grab a fish, but at last manage to get a hold of those creature! ahax. bravo kidz! ehe

and tis two u can called them the sifu ikan. aha. big applause kidz! hee

and he is still trying . . =)

giving their full attention for the result of fishing competition. the lose team will take turn to cook for dinner that nite! ahax~
p/s the team wif sumandak in lose. aha. padan muka =p

quick brief regarding nxt xtvt on lime harvesting. good guys, listen up well! you'r goin to do some harvesting uphill! hee

d view bfore went uphill. *sigh* ignore the very last person at d back. he's overxcited to do some labour work. huu~ ^^

meet the healthy & gemoks limau kasturi~

ouh! working very hard ya kidz =) thumbs up!

rest tym~

the owner was saying, " u see that? behind all the trees?" and the kid who was chewing the lime after hvg a blast wf tongkat ali, obediently watch in the direction shown.

when mama see tis pix, i can say mama totally lyk tis one! aha. mama's boy & my 'kidboy' bergabong meletop! aha. mama even ask me to go and print 1 copy of tis. and i was lyk," huh?" lolx.

otw back from harvesting, went through downhill heading to waterfall rock pond~

at last, return back safely @ platform with a bag full of limau kasturi. well done kidz! and, all tired & thirsty aha~ =)

the lose team who has to b d chef for dinner =P mentang2 ada anak dara tlg, kemain hapy lg they all. huu

floyd & hyruz who help wif the clay-style chicken cook~

dinner tym~!

after dinner, dividing into teams. while they'r busy wf BBQ,....

... they are busy with karaoke session.. while few at the back busy psp-ing..

and before went to sleep, campfire wud b d last xtvt for the night, wf d help from Charles .. well, kinda sleepy ody by that tym..i just cant let em went to sleep unless they do tis.. huu

last day, photog session with the other owner, Mr Lawrence Gibud. Thank you every1! Thank you Larry & Vince's Farmstay~! They deserved 4/5 star rating ^^

the xtvt for the second day are not recorded here. the pix somehow wf someone else. nway, d 2nd days : jungle trekking & melastik + kotak beracun games. (I hate tis games the most - alwiz unfortunate! nxt tym, tis kind of games wil b prohibited under my territory! )

nway, in short, its awesome! ^^

p/s more version of d story ? check here.